The holidays can be a stressful time for many of us as the season elicits mixed emotions, memories and demands more of our time and energy with family and traditions. For some who may have lost a loved one, are living far from their family or feel out of their traditional culture, it’s common to experience sadness, anxiety, and a sense of loneliness. While some of us may be out shopping for gifts and food for holiday gatherings, others, including our co-workers, may be alone and dreading another holiday without their loved ones. Regardless of which end of the spectrum you may fall into, it is important to be mindful of physical, emotional and psychological boundaries during the holiday season to maintain wellness.

Here are four easy ways to communicate your boundaries by using the skill G.I.V.E.

Gentle and genuine: Be honest with yourself as to how much you can manage and take on during the holiday season. Use a gentle and genuine tone of voice when saying “no” to others if you feel overwhelmed or stressed-out.

Interested:  Show you care for others by showing interest in what is going on in their lives. Use eye contact and try not to look at your cellular phone when interacting with friends, family, co-workers, and especially small children. This is a wonderful way to model boundaries and effective listening. Sometimes, giving another person your undivided attention is the best way to show you care during the holidays.

Validate your feelings: Self-validation is the non-judgmental acknowledgement of your feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and experience. Validating your feelings doesn’t mean you have to react right away. Remind yourself that it is human to feel things and emotions are not always easy to understand.

Easy-going manner: Remember the idiom “you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” Maintaining an easy-going manner means treating others with kindness, respect and a relaxed attitude. Be polite when communicating your boundaries with others and remember to take it easy with judgments, opinions and viewpoints. Allow space for yourself and others.

Remembering and implementing these four steps when you or someone else feels overwhelmed is a simple way to help reduce holiday stress for all.  We hope you have a safe, happy and healthy holiday season!

Sylvia Kalicinski-Don, LMFT, Ph.D. is the lead clinician for patients with bipolar disorder, depression, stress related issues, and anxiety at the Behavioral Health Outpatient Center at Mount Sinai Medical Center.